Inspiration

Dear Stephanie,

I've followed your blog since the very first time I'd heard of you, which sadly for me, was right after your plane crash. I live in Arizona too, and I'm not a native either. I am also a mother of four children: 3 boys and 1 girl. I've never emailed or written you, but I've been a silent stalker and admirer ever since.  I even broke my boycott of Oprah for you.   That says a lot.

You see, I have a flying phobia. I didn't used to be afraid of airplanes. When my oldest child was one year old, we spent a lot of time together in airports cruising between Utah, California and Texas. And it didn't bother me one bit. Then I had a bad experience when I was pregnant with child number 3. Which I don't even want to write about here, because it was nothing... I mean nothing, in comparison to your bad experience on a plane.

Every time I've had to get on a plane since, I want to die of anxiety. It's the worst when my husband and I fly together without the kids. I have this fear of the plane crashing and my children being orphaned. I know it's completely irrational. We are more likely to die in a car wreck on the local interstate, than be in a plane crash... but I just can't help being terrified. 

Last December I actually flew by myself to Ohio for a Temple Sealing for a close family member. It ended up not being that bad. I was lucky enough to sit next to the chatty types on every flight. While most people groan at the thought of being stuck next to a "chatty Cathy" on a plane, I found very quickly that having someone to chat with calms my nerves.

In 24 hours, I will be getting on a plane with my husband for a much needed adult only getaway. I know the vacation rewards will far outweigh my anxiety over getting on the plane. I know it's worth the risk. And I am amazingly calm. Usually by now, as I approach a flight, I'm nervous and jittery and full of anxiety. But I feel calm.

I want to personally thank you, Stephanie for that. I know you aren't the one making me calm, but gosh-darn-it, if you can jump planes to come south to visit Dr. L, after all you've been through, then I can get on a plane for a vacation with my husband.

Thank you for being the strong woman of courage that you are. I admire your honesty, your candor, and your testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And I admire your willingness to plug through a difficult life plagued with pain and sorrow that most of us will never experience of understand. You are my hero.

As I board that plane tomorrow, I will think of you. If you can do it, so can I. Thank you again for helping me to conquer my fears... I hope to kick this one in the butt!

Yours truly,

Christy

True Fear

Nothing instills true fear like this... I run into a dear friend in Walmart and she asks me what happened in church on Sunday - were there any big calling changes??? Hmmm.... I think about it.... No.... we got another gal to join our Enrichment Committee, but I think that was it.

Then I remember that the rumor is going around that our Young Women's President is getting released... this is bad news on more than one front. Our Relief Society President has also been told that her tenure will be up at the same time as the YW's pres... she's been bugging them for a while because her house is on the market and they will likely be moving soon. And now I hear that there could be big changes in the other organizations as well - this is HUGE people. So... who knows what is coming down the road in the next couple weeks. I think the happy place that I'm situated in right now is going to go away, but I don't know if my new responsibilities will be a welcome change or not?!? Or maybe there are big changes in store for Eric... he's dropped more than one hint that he's long past burnt out as a Scoutmaster, but I keep telling him be careful what you wish for... you might just get it (and then some!)

And isn't it funny how all of this going down is not at all "top secret" anymore? I remember when I was a kid, calling changes were some of the most sacred things in the church. Now, the rumor mill gets started and EVERYONE knows what's going on. When my friend asked me if I knew the "low down" in Walmart yesterday, when I said, "no".... she didn't even believe me at first. She thought I was lying or pretending not to know. I assured her that I really don't know what's happening and I hope never to find out until it's announced from the pulpit. I've been telling our bishop for some time now that whenever he needs a Nursery Leader, I'm there for him. He keeps laughing in my face. I think it's a very benevolent gesture... the Nursery Leader is one of the hardest callings in all the church to staff - it must have 75% turn down rate! But considering all I'm responsible for now, 2 hours of breaking up toddler fights each week seems like a walk in the park! But, we already do have a wonderful nursery leader right now, so it's unlikely I'll get that job anytime soon... UNLESS she gets to be the new YW or RS pres or something really great like that! Hey, you just never know! I've heard this Sunday will be exciting and I won't want to be late.... hmmm... too bad we can't Tivo our sacrament meeting!