The Beginning of the End

I'm going to interrupt my summer-travel-log-catch-up-marathon to blog about a big day.  Today is a BIG day.  It's the first day of school.  But, not only that, it's Brayden's first day of all day Kindergarten.

I have dreamed about this day for five years... and thought it would never come.  Brayden was excited about school, and walked into the classroom without a worry in the world.  I said my good-byes and hustled out of there before my emotions got the better of me. 

I'm not sad about sending my last born child off to school... I know he will love it, and thrive in the new environment.  I'm just overwhelmed with  the implications for me.  I feel like this is the first stage of the Empty Nest.  Good thing I have a good 13 years to go before I will be kid-less at home.  I'm no where near ready for that.

For the better part of the last 15 years I have been a Homemaker,  or Stay at Home Mom, or whatever you want to call it.  It was what I always wanted for my family. I have enjoyed being the one to raise my children.  But even when the older ones went off to school, I always had at least one of them home with me.  It's a weird feeling to be sitting here at the computer all by myself in the house.  Over the last six months I've given a lot of thought to what I should do with my new found freedom.  Should I work?  Should I go back to school?  Should I join some time consuming volunteer group to fill the void? 

And then I came to my senses.  Thank heavens for that! For the last 2 years, I've struggled with keeping up with my responsibilities.  Certain things have been inevitably put on the back burner during that time, when I only had the time or the energy for just the essentials.  Case in point... I am still trying to finish up the scrapbooking pages for a trip we took to Maui in 2006.  Yes, I know... pathetic.  And I realize that some women find scrapbooking overwhelming and laborious, but I love it.  It's therapeutic for me.  I love cutting the paper and gluing it on.  I find it immensely satisfying.  And even better is when my kids pull out their books to relive the good ol' days.  That makes it all worth while.  And let's not even discuss the sewing projects that are piled around my sewing machine and serger.  Yes, I have a serger... and I never have time to do anything with it.  And working out?  Whenever there was a crisis or something came up, going to the gym was the first thing to be axed off my "to do" list.

So, when my husband asked me the other day (he was kidding) if I was going to go job hunting this week, I looked at him like he was nuts.  Maybe when the sewing projects are all caught up, and when the scrapbooks are caught up, and when my house can stay clean for more than one day, and when I have time to learn and use my camera and photoshop better, I will think about getting a job.  Oh yeah, one more thing... once I'm released from my super demanding church calling... then I will think about expanding my horizons outside the comfort of my own home.  But for now, I'm just thrilled to have 40 hours a week to do the things I should have been doing all along... not just squeaking by on the bare essentials. 

(First day of school pics to be posted very soon!)