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| The reason this cheese block looks "wrinkled" is because I just pulled it out of the freezer. Yes, it's true, did you know you can freeze cheese? |
That's my new dining motto. Except the "error" part results in an evening of excruciating stomach cramps, with frequent trips to the bathroom and unpleasantness coming out of both ends of my body. (Sorry if that's TMI....) But, none the less, it's been the story of my life since the first of July.
I knew it was coming eventually, but I really thought I had another 15-20 years before it manifested itself. My parents have recently become lactose intolerant, which is common for people in their age bracket, so I just assumed that it was a done deal at some point in the future... but a very long time into the future. Alas, not so... and I thought being allergic to Sesame was a bad gig. So far, this one has been worse.
You don't really realize how much dairy you consume on a regular basis until it starts making you sick and you have to cut it out of your diet. Some examples of things I eat just about every day that contain dairy: milk, cheese, sour cream, butter/margarine, ranch dressing, cream cheese and ice cream. Okay, I don't eat ice cream just about every day, but you get the idea.
A few nights ago, I made BBQ chicken, rice and a green salad. I put a little bit of ranch on one side of my plate and a little bit of italian on the other side. I'm not a lover of italian dressing, so I was testing the waters to see if I could eat all my salad that way. After about 3 bites, I had to go back to the ranch. So, I went to the cupboard, pulled out the trusty box of Lactaid pills and took one. Then I sparingly ate the rest of my salad dipping it in the ranch side of the plate, but trying to eat as little as possible. Three hours later, I was writhing in agony with symptoms already described above. Lesson learned: one lactaid pill isn't enough... next time, take two.
So as I go through this "trial and error" process, I'm learning that some things affect me more than others. But I have learned some interesting things, too. For example, one of my most favorite things, mayonnaise, has no milk in it. Yay! Don't have to give that one up! Yogurt is also okay, and though I don't LOVE yogurt, it's nice to know that I can make smoothies for the kids and still have some too. Unfortunately, my beloved Kraft American Cheese has been put on the chopping block, but as my husband tells me, it's not real cheese anyway, so I'm better off without it. The good news on the cheese front is that most Kraft cheese, like the ones pictured above, are already lactose-free. Hooray! Because giving up cheese is harder for me than giving up milk or ice cream. I recently had to eat a burger from Wendy's without cheese on it, and let's just say a burger isn't a burger without cheese. It was not an enjoyable experience.
As a whole, dining out has lost it's appeal. If I can't handle one little squirt of ranch dressing, how will I ever eat a slice of pizzeria pizza ever again? And I'm depressed thinking about how I will probably never again get to order my favorite item on the Elmer's menu, the cheese enchiladas. At least I can still eat at YC's Mongollian Grill. No dairy anywhere in the menu, except at the soft serve ice cream machine that's available to patrons for an after dinner treat. But I am usually too full to think about ice cream at that point anyway, so no loss there.
So, I will just close this out with a warning to my brother, who has become quite the food connoisseur in the last few years: YOU ARE DOOMED. Enjoy dairy while you can, because you never know when it is suddenly going to turn on you and bite you in the butt.
