When I was 13 years and 11 months old, there was this dance at school. It was a big deal and everyone I knew was going... except me. My parents stood by our church policy of not going to dances before age 14. If the dance had been the night before my birthday, I'm pretty sure my dad would still have said "NO". I remember having heated discussions with him about going to this dance... which says a lot... my dad and I rarely ever had heated discussions about anything! I begged and pleaded, but he still said, "NO." I didn't have a special guy that I wanted to dance with, I just wanted to go to the dance and hang out with my friends.
Fast forward to tonight... I put everyone to bed and I'm hearing muted sounds coming from Taylor's room. He always plays his ipod to go to sleep, so at first I was thinking it was just his music, but it sounded different... so I investigated... okay, okay... I eavesdropped! I put my ear to the door and heard him talking, but in his 13 year old "mumble" language, I couldn't understand a word... so I did the next best thing... I opened the door. Sure enough, he's on the cell phone, laying on his bed in the dark, playing his ipod (for cover, maybe???)
Taylor: "What?!?" he says.
Me: "Dude, it's 9:30... get of the phone and go to bed!"
Taylor: in hushed tones, "Gotta go... mumble... mumble... bye." click.
Me: Give me the cell phone.....
Taylor: What??!!??
Me: If I catch you on the phone this late on a school night again, you're going to be in big trouble!
I left, leaving the cell phone on the nightstand.
I'm pretty sure... no, I'm positive.... he was talking to a girl from school. Guys don't gab on the phone... they text... but no "talking" per se... I thought I was ready for him to get "into girls"... but here's the thing... I'm NOT! Eric and I have already taken the liberty of "snooping" through his yearbook and a girl from school (who I will call "J.C.") took up an entire page. Very suspicious. Taylor hasn't told me who this girl is, but he doesn't need to... We are pretty savvy snoopers around here.
Here's the dilemma... only 5 more days of school left! Then what will my excuse be to get him off the phone??? I'm seriously thinking about imposing a 9:00 p.m. cell phone "curfew"... something like he'll have to give me the phone at night and I'll give it back to him in the morning... what do you think? Help, people, please... I don't want to screw this up! Taylor is a great kid with a very strong conscious... I don't' think he'll push any boundaries, but it scares the "you know what" out of me anyway!
And Dad, if I haven't thanked you before for sticking to your guns... I'm thanking you now! At least I will be able to say, "My parents did the same thing to me and I survived it just fine!"
6 comments:
Geez Christy, I know you're asking for advice but first of all, I am only a toddler parents right now and second of all, you make it too darn hard at the fact that you have already given him a cell phone! He doesn't even drive yet!! So I got nothin' basically!
Alexander has girls calling him and he's 10 so maybe you should be giving me advice? I think the 9 pm phone curfew is a great idea.
setting rules is a def. PLUS! it sets the boundaries for all of you and takes the pressure off of you and Eric.
I am hearing a song in my head right now that you aren't going to like but remember WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN by the Carpenters LOL!
I am right behind you!!! and if he ( even though he is a good kid) is ANYTHING like my almost 12 year old, the rule setting goes much more smoothly when hubby and I have made a mental list of reasons as to why... we do share one of two of them, but teh more grounded we are feeling about the rule, the more solid it seems to stand.
As kids, we were not allowed to call anyone after 10pm (no matter who) and I actually still do that to this day. I have a friend who couldn't use the phone or accept phone calls after 9pm. So I think setting a limit now for all the kids would work well that way no one kid is being singled out. Maybe give Taylor a chance to obey the rule with his cell phone and then if he doesn't, you can take the cell phone away. That way he isn't being told that he did something wrong since he is such an awesome kid. But what do I know, I have a 3 yo and a 1 yo. Good luck!!
Yikes, I have NO advice in this area. We had a 5 minute phone call rule growing up (all the way through my junior year of high school) I tried sneaking around it by having the guy hang up and call me right back...I got away with it for a few weeks, but then my father caught on...And I know I had a phone cerfew - I want to way it was 9:00 or 9:30...can't remember. Good luck! :)
I don't see anything wrong with a phone curfew. A cell phone is a priviledge and comes with restrictions and rules... JMO
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