Without Pain, There Would Be No Joy

A couple of years ago, I listened to the audio book Marley & Me. I bawled like a baby through the entire last CD. Why? Because I knew that the end of the story would be when Marley died. Because all dogs die... and because I knew that my dog would die too. And probably sooner, rather than later. I cried because I understood the agonizing decision that I will someday have to make about putting my dog out of his suffering.

Almost 2 weeks ago we found ourselves making that hard decision. We knew our dogs life was coming to a close and we didn't want to have to take him to the vet until we were prepared to relieve him of his suffering. We scheduled the vet visit after a particularly difficult afternoon of pain and whimpering from the dog. I just couldn't take it anymore. Home treatments weren't working and the last pain scrip the vet had given us for him was long expired.

We ended up postponing the inevitable while the vet tested for valley fever and gave us some pain meds that would not only help him be more comfortable, but also determine if his problem was caused by a muscle issue. Those would be the treatable options. But, as I knew deep down in my gut, it wasn't going to be something easy to treat. We still don't know exactly what the problem is, but my gut instinct tells me it's bone cancer.

We still have a week or two of pain meds left (depending how much of a dose he can live with), and then it will be time to make the big decisions. I don't think it's going to be something we can or will be able to treat. We could possibly keep him alive longer on strong pain meds, but really who does that serve? Not him. It's time to say good-bye. I am resigned to it. I think I am ready. I know it's going to tear me to pieces, but it has to come someday... dogs don't live forever. And I have a firm belief that Moreno will be waiting for us in Heaven, tumor-and-ear-infection-free. And that knowledge makes me happy.

My bigger anxiety is about the kids. The last time we went to the vet, Taylor point-blank asked me if Moreno was going to be coming home from the visit. I couldn't lie to him. I told him I didn't know for sure what was going to happen. I've never seen my 15 year old son fall apart like that. He was torn up. My heart ached for him. It's going to be even harder when it really happens. Do I prepare him again? Give him a chance to say good-bye? Or do we not tell the kids until it's over? Save them the anxiety of knowing what is happening?

I could really benefit from some wisdom from all you veteran dog owners out there. What's the best way to break the news to the kids? Help... the clock is ticking... and time is not in my favor.

Oh, Crap!

Yes, it happened again... our dog had some bladder control issues during the night... usually it happens on a weekday and Eric leaves it and goes to work, (leaving me to clean it up). But this time it was a Saturday, so he decided to clean it up himself... but, he didn't go into the job unarmed! Seeing these pictures ha strengthened my resolve to paint my laundry room... I just need to decide what color to use! It looks so messy and blah... it needs some help!

In the Dog House

Not Eric... but Moreno, our 9 year old lab mutt. While Eric is out of town, I will let him roam free downstairs during the night. It makes me feel safer knowing that he can growl at someone at the front door if we have a potential intruder. The older he gets, the more "bladder control" issues he has. The main reason we got rid of the carpet in our living/dining room is because he had a "bad night" and pooped and peed all over it in several places all in one night. Getting out the stains was impossible and the smell never really left either. But, even with the carpet gone, that room is his favorite place to relieve himself in the middle of the night. Two nights ago, such an accident occured. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and dutifully cleaned it all up. (It was gross!) Then last night, SAME thing! I wanted to shoot him this morning when I discovered what he'd done! He was in the "dog house" all day and I was planning on having him sleep OUTSIDE tonight, just to teach him a lesson, but there's rain and lightning out there and I feel bad leaving him out in it. So, I gated him into the laundry room and he better not have another accident or I might lose it!

When his doggy "life" is over, and I'm telling you that I want another dog, please stop me and talk some sense into me! I'm really tired of cleaning up poop and pee, moping up gallons of dog hair (shedding) and finding dog sitters when we want to leave town. The following picture was taken about a year ago... I can't believe how much he has aged in the last year!