A Heavy Heart

On Monday, our friend lost his battle with Leukemia. Last Thursday evening, we found out the doctors could no longer treat him or fight his illness. They just had to wait for him to pass on and keep him as comfortable as they could. It was a difficult weekend for those of us that know this family. He's a really sweet kid and he's only 14. It breaks my heart to think of the sorrow his family is feeling.

I wanted to share a couple lessons I have learned so far from this experience:

Bad things happen to good people. There is no "fairness" in all of this. Our purpose in life is to be tested for greater things and we don't always understand why bad things can happen to such good people. The bottom line is that no one is invincible to sorrow or tradegy.

I can do all things when supported with the power of the Priesthood. On Thursday last week we got the news of David's condition. By Friday I was falling apart emotionally. How would I be able to be helpful to the family if I couldn't keep it together myself? Eric gave me a blessing on Friday and that has made all the difference in the world. I've been able to feel peace and move forward with providing service to this family in their time of need. I've been able to work with the bishopric in planning the funeral service and luncheon afterwards and hold it together. I've been able to give comfort to the family and to others who are having a hard time coping with such a tragedy.

You never know when your time on earth will be over. It can happen over the course of a long and difficult illness or it can happen in an instant. I want to try to remember to make each moment count. I've noticed over the last week, I've been less short with my family. Even though I've been put under enormous stress, that would normally induce crankiness, it hasn't really come through like you would expect. I've learned from this experience that we have to cherish each moment we have with the people we love.

When no one else can understand our sorrow, God can. I've been trying to figure what to say that might give them comfort. I've never lost anyone this close and I don't think anyone out there can understand the pain of losing a child until it has happened to you. I'm not even going to try to pretend I understand the pain they are suffering. A friend of mine said something really profound yesterday... when no one else can understand, God can. He did send his son to earth to die for the rest of us. He could have stopped it and saved his son, but he didn't because he loves all of us. He knows how it feels to watch a child die.


And here we are the day before Thanksgiving, and I find myself with many emotions. I'm grateful for my family and for my beautiful children and for our good health. I'm grateful for my husband and for his compassion and his generosity. Over the last few days, I have been tethered to the phone and have spent a lot time away from home dealing with all this and he has never once complained. He has even cooked meals and washed dishes without being asked to just to make my life a little bit easier. He's been emotionally strong for our family and been incredibly supportive with all the difficult tasks I've been asked to do. My kids have been incredibly understanding too. More often than not, they turn to talk to me, and I have to hold up one finger and silently tell them "hold on" because I'm on the phone and can't be interrupted. I'm hoping to finish all the arrangements today so that there will be time to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family. I want to be able to cuddle on the couch with my kids and watch a movie with them. I want to be able to play RockBand with them and laugh with them and more than anything else, I want them to know how much I love them. That's my goal this weekend... to make sure my kids know that.