Now What?

Last week I registered my last born child for Kindergarten. All. Day. Kindergarten.

I have waited for this day for 5 years. The first day of school is July 26, 2010.

I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years. I've worked a few odd jobs on the side over that time, but all self-employment type stuff. No one has given me a real or consistent paycheck in 14 years.

I also haven't been in school for almost 17 years. Except for 1 class I took in 1998 at a local community college in San Jose. It was a black and white photography class. This was before the mainstream public went digital. I still have very fond memories of my time during that 4 months in the darkroom creating art. Or at least, trying to create art. I started a second class after that first one, but dropped out a couple weeks into it because we decided to move 30 miles away. Definitely too far to commute for a photo night class.

In 2002, Eric went back to school to get his MBA. For 3 1/2 years I supported him in that venture, including being at times what felt like a single parent, or at other times editing his papers and proofreading projects. It was like being in school, but not really getting anything out of it. When he graduated, he said to me something like, "Ok, now it's your turn. I have what I want. When you are ready to go back to school, just let me know."

After enduring his return to school while keeping a full time job, I didn't want to think about textbooks or term papers ever again. I've never regretted my decision not to pursue a degree higher than my AA. Other demands on my time were more pressing, and I hadn't really decided what I wanted to "do" anyway. I did not want to waste time going to school for a major that I wasn't passionate about.

Now that Brayden starting Kindergarten is so close and finally tangible, I am really kinda freaking out. What on earth am I going to do with myself while the kids are at school?

I do have some goals. I have projects that have been on the back burner for years that I want to accomplish. I could step up my volunteer time at the school now that I won't need a babysitter for every time I go over there.

I could get a job. Not that I don't want to have a job, but I don't want to get a job, just to have one. I'm confident that made no sense at all. I don't want to be a slave to someone else's schedule just because I feel like I need to get a job. And if I am going to work, I want to pick a place that I love. And I haven't really come up with any great ideas. And even if I had a great place in mind, I'm sure they wouldn't hire me right now because of the bad economy.

I also could go back to school. I've actually thought a lot about that possibility. But what would I major in? And then would I actually use said degree when I was done? Two careers that interest me are Photography and Interior Design... but I don't really see myself as going full board professional in either of those things later on. I don't want to become a career wife/mom just because my kids are in school. I still want to be available to volunteer at the school, or watch track meets, or go to band concerts.

I guess I am going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. I feel like there is a big change coming my way and I don't really know what to do with it. I don't want to spend my first year of freedom wasting away on the couch watching Oprah and eating bon-bons. (Oh wait, I hate Oprah....) I feel like I need to have some kind of plan or I will waste the time. And I don't like the idea of sitting around wasting time. I feel like I need to be "doing" something... even if it is small.

So, don't be surprised if you see lots of blogs coming from my corner of the Internet trying to come up with some ideas... brainstorming posts... if you will. Any and all feedback will be appreciated. And if you have any great ideas about what I can do with my new "grown-up life", please let me know. I'm open to almost anything at this point... well except belly dancing or professional fundraising. I do have my limits, you know.

A Prayer Answered?

This morning, after I drove Taylor to the High School at 6:15 a.m. in the pitch dark, I came home and prayed. Among other things, I prayed for the ability to be productive today and not be tempted to climb back into my warm bed.

I guess I should have worded my prayer differenly, because I did climb into Ian's bed when it was time to wake him up for school. I snuggled with him for a minute and then poked and prodded him until he got up and headed downstairs to eat. Then I stayed in his bed and dozed for 15-20 minutes... which, ironically enough, has made me very sleepy all day and very UNproductive.

I will have to REword my petition tomorrow morning...

Swim... Bike... Run!

A week and a half ago, Eric, Taylor and I participated in a Sprint Triathlon. We signed Taylor up at the last minute, once we knew he wasn't going to the State Swim Meet. He wasn't super excited about it. In the week preceding the big event, he didn't go out for one run, or get on his bike once. He kept telling us he was ready, but we thought he was going to be in for a rude shock come race day.

Setting up Transition...

The swim portion is in an Olympic sized pool, so the starts are staggered. Taylor got in the water 2nd. We got in the water 40 minutes later. By the time we got to transition to go on the bike, he was already running. By the time I came back from the bike to start the run, he was finished!
Eric and Taylor both did really well. Taylor finished in 1:09:05 minutes. Here is it broken down: Swim 6:08, Bike 41:17, Run 21:40. He took 1st in his age division (15 and under). He was riding a super beastly mountain bike that weighs like 50 pounds and has super knobby tires. Think what he could do with some training and a road bike!

Eric finished in 1:13:13. He did amazing too! Swim: 8:52, Bike 42:11, Run 22:10. He finished 16th in his age division... Not bad for a first timer, eh?

I almost bailed out of this one. I had started a headcold and was sick and tired. I didn't want to go, but Eric talked me into just coming and watching. Well, once I got there, I decided to go for it. After all, I'd already registered, and I'd been planning on this for a year, plus I wanted that t-shirt, bad! And they give you the shirt when you cross the finish and turn in your timing chip... so I couldn't cheat and get the shirt. Since I felt so tired and crummy, I didn't have any time goals... I just wanted to finish without having an asthma attack or passing out. My total time was 1:33:29 (15 seconds faster than last year). What made the difference was the bike... thanks to Marla and spinning class every Monday morning, I was so better prepared for the bike this year. Without really pushing myself very hard I shaved 6 minutes off my biking time! (An added bonus was the slicks Eric installed for me earlier in the week.)

Overall it was a great experience and I'm so glad we all did it! Eric is totally pumped to do another one, and we may have found the perfect sport for Taylor. Taylor was incredibly sore for about 5 days after the race because of his lack of training, so he knows now that he can never again just roll out of bed and say, "I think I'll do a Tri today!" and not pay the consequences!

My Birthday

My 36th birthday was good to me. No, let me re-phrase that. My great friends and family were good to me! My kids got ready for school on their own without me having to nag them, and my greatest girl friends here in AZ met me for lunch at my favorite BBQ place, which incidentally gave me a free meal because it was my birthday!

Thanks to my awesome and way-too-generous hubby, I have a new baby. A new baby that I've been planning for for a couple years now, but one I didn't expect to actually have in my hands until next summer. He'd been dropping hints that he wanted to get this for me for my birthday this year. I kept saying "NO." I do the budget, after all, and I just couldn't justify it in the pre-christmas budget. In the way that only a husband can do, he wore me down. He took me to the store just to check them out. It was all over after that. Once I played with them, he knew I had to have it. I hadn't even been researching them because I knew it would just make me want to have one, so I was avoiding the camera scene altogether! Once he finally got the green light, then it was the big decision... which camera to buy?

I have had 2 Canon cameras. I have LOVED every single one. In my mind, the question wasn't which brand to buy, but which Canon to buy. But everyone Eric talked to told him he should look into the Nikon D90. So he did the homework, and the research proved the Nikon to be superior camera. So, that's the one we went with. I was nervous about learning a new interface to work with, but so far it's been easy. And it takes AMAZING photos.

I know these aren't super exciting, but since I've been down sick all week, I haven't had the energy to go out for a real photo shoot. Plus, all last week it was overcast. I couldn't get one scenery shot with a stunning blue sky. If I had been more prepared, it would have been the perfect week for our annual kid photo shoot, but I wasn't prepared for that. So, one day when I walked to get the mail, I took the camera with me and got these flower shots. I can't wait to get out this week and really put this thing through the paces!!!!

Of course, I still have a huge manual to get through and Eric bought me an additional book that's twice as big as the manual to help me learn how to use this camera to the fullest. So, I also have a lot of reading to do! Plus, it's time to really devote some energy to learning how to use my photoshop program. I can do the most basic of all basic stuff, but nothing really cool or useful. I think I need a book for that too. This will definitely keep me very busy and occupied for a long time! Yeah!

Desert Grande Triathlon

Saturday morning was clear and cool and most importantly calm (no wind) ... we headed down to Casa Grande for their annual Desert Grande Triathlon/Duathlon. Here is my bike with my friend, Hillary's bike... we were in the minority as far as bikes go... most people had super streamlined road bikes... maybe next year....

Hillary and I just before we lined up to start... I did the Triathlon, she did the Duathlon (torture in my opinion... running, then biking, then running AGAIN!) I'd much rather swim!

The first leg... swimming... my favorite part! As prepared as I thought I was, the swim was much harder than I anticipated! Swim time: 9:33. ( I thought I could do it in 8:30, but I've been swimming in a 25 yard pool and this was a 50 meter pool, so my estimations were a bit off I guess....) I was really trying to save my legs during the swim, so I gave it everything I had with my arms and shoulders... the end result of that was that I could barely pull myself out of the water at the end. I was shocked at how hard it was to get out of the pool!

No pictures of me on the bike, which is just as well, because this was my weakest link. I didn't have biking clothing on, didn't have a road bike and didn't even have toe clips for my shoes! Oh well, I still had fun, although I was wishing I had my ipod or someone to talk to... 10 miles riding solo gets boring and tedious after about 15 minutes. (I missed you on this stretch, Maureen! Remember how fun the bike was when we did the Pleasanton Tri all those many moons ago?!?)
I didn't pass one person on the biking portion of my race... which can be disheartening, but thankfully I was prepared for that reality. I blame it on my fat tire handicap.... My bike time 54:25 (this includes the transition from swim and dropping off the bike to start the run).

The bike to run transition is BRUTAL! I had practiced it, but it still didn't prepare me for the real thing! I used Eric's garmin GPS watch to keep track of my milage and pace and it was an absolute LIFESAVER because I could easily tell how much father I would have to go before I got to the end... here I am just crossing the finish.... I was sooooo dang happy to see that finish sign, I can't even tell you! My run time was 29:45! Based on my treadmill training, I thought my best possible run time would be about 33 minutes, so I was dang happy about this one!

My overall time was 93:43!!! I was estimating 105 minutes, so I was very happy to come in twelve minutes under the expectation! Many thanks to Eric for getting up on the crack of dawn on Saturday to drive me down and cheer for me and take pictures and to Hillary for sticking around long enough to cheer for me when I crossed the finish line! I wish I could have done the same for her, but she finished before me!

I've come to a very interesting conclusion about myself... I have to be motivated by something to workout. When I don't have a "reason" to go to the gym, I can find all kinds of reasons to talk myself out of it. When I sign up for a race, then believe me, I'm motivated to get my butt to the gym and get prepared. (I have the same issue with cleaning my house... I often invite people over because it is about the only motivator to get myself to get it clean!)

Now I'm going to attempt something I've never tried... Eric and I are going to sign up for a 10K run on Thanksgiving morning in Mesa... I've never been able to run much past 3 miles, so this will be quite the adventure for me. Only 3 and 1/2 weeks to really ramp up my running, but I think for the first time in my life, I can actually do this! And, I've finally got Eric excited about trying out the Triathlon circuit... he was really wishing he had signed up with me on Saturday morning!